Today’s topic is a little bit gross, a little weird, and definitely going to garner some interesting comments.
This is my most recent encounter with a very gross driver. There was a woman with her finger buried in her nose at least two knuckles. Normally I don’t pay attention to this type of behavior but she seemed almost giddy with the process. The other fortunate part of this interesting turn of events was a traffic light. So now I had a great view of this woman itching her brain and I started thinking about Caddy Shack.
There is a scene where they caddies start betting on whether or not Spaulding will not only pick his nose but will he eat it. Spoiler: He does both. Second spoiler: So did the woman behind me in traffic.
It gets weirder. Apparently, she had not gotten the offending detritus and proceeded to hold one nostril closed while expelling the offending bogie onto her hand. She then licked it! I was losing it at this point, wildly describing this macabre play by play to my very disgusted wife. This was then repeated several times, interspersed with a bit more brain scratching. The light turned green and the show was over. It is a moment I will not soon forget.
Many years ago when I was a younger man and went to the bar on a regular basis it was always an event when the lights came on and everyone left for the night.
One of my earliest heroes was a guy about my age who was driving an older Impala. Not one of the cool ones, one of the 2 door land yachts of the malaise era of automobiles.
What made this fellow my hero was his clearly beneficial relationship with an attractive young lady. Within a second or two from backing out of a parking spot his partner had repositioned her upper torso into a very athletic position and she exhibited a very practical way to satisfy her clearly oral related fixation.
I went home that night knowing my short term relationship goals had changed.
Crazy Road Sights
There are a ton of stories in the news that mention crazy things people do in their cars. Butt plugs, nudity, full on coitus, and more have been reported in the news and police blotters.
What are some of the craziest things you have seen on the road?